


you are only the front that you harness

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, I'll update tags as I go, M/M, also i came up with the description on the fly and i rlly hate it but oh worm, bc who knows if i'll ever write past the first 3 chapters, hello im back editing the tags, i abandoned this for a couple months but now im BACK, i am Nervous To Post this but u know. the world is ending why not post it now, i had one (1) beta it was my sister and she didnt help much but thats ok, im 15 and play a lot of animal crossing im sorry its so wack and unedited, kinda slowburn maybe? we'll see how impatient i get, title came from song lyrics bc i am a simple lesbian who cannot name things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:29:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24583081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: flash thompson is selfish, but he swears he'll change. of course, he's been swearing he'll change since he was in middle school. but this time he really does change, honest. he has to, for peter. it's a slow process, but he keeps his sights ahead of him and daydreams about the day he can be a good kid. and who knows, maybe peter will notice flash in a different light.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Flash Thompson
Comments: 14
Kudos: 75





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> (title from emma blackery's song "Icarus") this is an abandoned WIP i started a few weeks ago but i hate how it all flows and i cant think of where to go with it so i decided to just post the abandoned unfinished and unedited version so here you go. it’s nerf or nothing babey! ᵃˡˢᵒ ᵖˡˢ ᵇᵉ ᵍᵉⁿᵗˡᵉ ᶦᵐ ¹⁵ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᶦˢ ᵐʸ ᶠᶦʳˢᵗ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᵖᵒˢᵗᶦⁿᵍ ᵃ ᶠᵃⁿᶠᶦᶜ ᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵒᵏ ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏ ᵘ ᵇʸᵉ

if there’s one thing flash is certain of, it’s the fact peter parker is a horrible liar.  
everybody knows that. his face gets red, and his voice gets high and he sweats more than any teenage boy should in a span of five minutes. don’t get any ideas though, as it was previously stated this is all common knowledge. it’s not like flash pays special attention to peter or anything.  
okay, so maybe he does pay special attention to peter, and in more ways than one, (and maybe he’s ashamed of both ways he gives peter special attention,) but it’s nothing more than friendly behaviour.  
or maybe it’s less than friendly behaviour, and maybe flash always swears today will be different, but that’s not important.  
what is important is how peter is sitting at his desk with the most poorly concealed black eye flash has ever seen. (and he’s had his fair share of covered bruises throughout his life) so today he decides to be easy on peter, instead of keeping up the whole cool rich boy facade he’d managed to fabricate in his school years, he tried a more friendly approach. instead of harassing peter on his way to his desk, flash gives him a reassuring pat on the back and sends a friendly smile his way.  
he hopes everything at home is okay. peter’s aunt may seems sweet, like she would never harm peter, but flash knows better than anyone how easy it is for your family to have a loving act in front of others when it’s all different behind closed doors.

the black eye makes sense after a couple weeks. and all the times peter had been late to anything, and all time times peter has black circles under his eyes and it seemed he was running on coffee and no sleep for the fourth day in a row. sure, he blames the whole “stark internship” but there’s something more to it, no kid should be workin that hard on an internship for a literal billionaire.  
flash figures it out after english class, and it’s a miracle nobody else has figured it out before him.  
he sees the suit in peters backpack, hastily hidden behind algebra books and binder for spanish class. he follows peter after school (in the most non-creepy way possible) and watches as peter change into the spidersuit -of course he looked away with a red face when peter was nearly naked. he has some respect for the boy even if he doesn’t act like it at school.  
only in the privacy of his own bedroom does he allow himself to think of peter in more intimate ways, like maybe him and peter could be friends one day.  
tt’s a thought he laughs at, but allows the desire to lull him to sleep.  
(at least flash doesn’t have to worry about peter being hit by aunt may. it’s a life he’s glad peter can live, no matter how badly he wants it for himself.)

flash is selfish. he knows this, same as everybody. flash is just a synonym for selfish at his school, and while he hates it he knows they’re right. but he tells himself he doesn’t do this because peter is spiderman, he would do it in a heartbeat no matter what, but there’s no denying that finding out about peter last week is the pushing factor in his decision.  
he knows peter doesn’t always have enough to eat, between not having enough money for school lunches all the time and not always having time or energy to make one to bring to school between homework and being spiderman, so flash makes him some himself.  
It’s not much, just a container of mac’n’cheese and some goldfish crackers with a couple juice boxes of apple juice, but he put it in a brown bag and drew a smiley face on it before leaving it in peter’s locker as if it were a gourmet meal. he even woke up early to get to school before most other students arrived so nobody would see him.  
he opens peter’s locker easily, he has the combination memorized from when he would take peter’s books out in freshman year. he beats himself up about it to this day, but hopefully this can be the beginning of his redemption. 

the confusion is visible on peter’s face when he sees the brown paper bag with a smiley face on it. he looks inside and smiles, and flash ignores how his face heats up as his palms get sweaty, and his stomach aches in the best of ways. he watches as incognito as he can be from a few lockers down under the guise of talking to one of his “friends” (see: another rich kid he hangs around because he doesn’t know how to leave his comfort zone of surface level friends he grew up around, since rich kids always seem to flock together like a murder of crows and they all deem it a priority to be cruel to anybody they see as disdain amongst the higherarchery of popularity and status.)  
peter thanks ned, but ned looks just as confused as peter. he says it wasn’t him, and only shrugs when peter asks who it could have been.  
flash feels a bit of pride when he sees peter eating it at lunch, staring at the smiley face with a pensive look, as if he stares hard enough he could figure out who left it and how they got in his locker. but he smiles when he takes the first bite of mac’n’cheese, so at least he enjoys it.

flash runs into peter one day after school. literally, he wasn’t looking where he was going and walked right into him.  
his dad was in a snappy mood when flash left for school, so he avoided his house for the time being when school let out. his thoughts were loud enough, he didn’t need the yelling from his house to add to it. at least with his house he can escape the noise, and he takes every chance he gets to do just that.  
he stops at a convenience store before he makes his way to an undecided place, just anywhere but his house. he’s browsing the isles for snack foods and walks right into peter, his mind too focused on finding the reeses than his surroundings.  
“oh, sorry pete.” the words feel wrong in his mouth, and he wants to slap himself because pete? really? him and peter are barely on a first name basis, let alone a nickname one.  
the words hang in the air for a moment before peter responds, probably too shocked flash called him a nickname with no malicious intentions behind it. it’s an awkward silence, and flash almost squeezes past him and abandons the reeses all together, but peter speaks before he can.  


“uh, it’s fine.” he gives flash a smile that’s as awkward as flash calling him pete, to which flash smiles back at him.  


“i need, um, i need to get over...over there.” peter points to the other side of the isle flash is blocking.  


“oh, yeah yeah of course. right, sorry.” flash steps out of the way and ignores the strange look peter gives him. it’s probably because he’s never heard flash say sorry this much, and that stings a little but flash pretends it doesn’t.  
he watches peter grab a bag of sour gummy bears off the rack like it’s second nature, barely even glancing at it as he makes his way up to the counter.  


he decided not to be a creep and gets his snacks - reeses and ringpops and nacho doritos, and a couple bags of the gummy bears he saw peter grab - and checks out, totally not looking at peter’s hair as he stands behind him while he talks to the man at the counter.  


the cashier talks to peter for a minute before asking about a sandwich, and peter must frequent this place because he has a “usual” order. it makes sense, considering how he grabbed the gummy bears like he’s done it a hundred times - and he probably has, if not more.  


flash pays attention to peter’s order (“yup, number five like always,” as peter says, “with pickles please.”) and locks it away in his brain.  
he can’t stop thinking about the interaction as he walks around the city. he thinks on how cute adorable sweet nice peter looked, and how he wishes peter would smile at him more. who knows, maybe he will, because flash is determined to be better. he’s been saying that for years, but this time he really means it. maybe it is selfishness that causes him to be nice, selfishness that now he knows peter is spiderman and wants to get on his good side, because he swears on his parents lives he hasn’t been wanting to be nice to peter for years because of other factors, like having a crush on him since middle school.  


too bad his parents lives don’t mean much to him.


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> flash gains the title of "secret admirer" and also cries :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i know i said i wouldnt continue this but its 11 pm on a sunday and i have a KILLER headache so here i mcfrickin am, back with more self projection. no i am not editing this. if i dont edit this yes i do no i dont i will. no i wont <3 also i didn't read ch 1 before writing this im not sorry <3 more feral “im actually not not continuing this <3” at the end notes i just dont wanna spam the beginning. also writing in a consistent tense? Idk her! enjoy!

flash swore he would change only to show up to school the next day and almost immediately called peter a cruel name. old habits die hard, or something. it doesn’t bother flash as much, or maybe it does and he’s just gotten better at ignoring his feelings and trying so hard to replace them with something that left him with feelings of superiority instead of infuriation, but it never works. he feels horrible no matter how he treats peter.  
on one hand flash feels absolutely horrible when he continues the cycle of bullying, but he also feels so bad when he treats him kindly, telling himself the kindness comes from a selfish place and how he deserves the life he’s given of constantly feeling alone no matter how many of his fellow rich kids sit at the lunch table with him.  
there’s a feeling he can’t explain when he sees peter, and he’s not sure if it’s the guilt seeping out of his mind and straight into his stomach making him nauseous, or maybe it’s the nervousness he feels knowing peter could snap at any moment, and who knows how he’ll snap. will he snap back at flash one day? or will he snap inside and fall into self destructive habits flash knows all too well? it’s scary, and ever since flash caught him in the midst of his “oh i’m definitely not spider-man and i definitely do have a stark internship” lie, he’s been even more scared. but he turns his fear into something else, directs it towards something other than himself, but it just makes him feel worse because that’s how this whole thing started, isn’t it?  
he tells himself it’s fine. he’s selfish, he’s so so selfish, and he always tries so hard for three, maybe four days later he’s pressured back into bullying kids (mainly peter) who just want to be left alone.  
but maybe this time is a little different, because after two weeks he’s been leaving a pack of sour gummy worms in peter’s locker with a smiley faced sticky note attached to it. 

he heard peter and ned talking in the library one day, they’re not as quiet as they think they are.  
“so you still don’t know who this mystery admirer is?”  
“no, i - wait, mystery admirer? dude, the phrase is secret admirer. and i have no clue who it is.”  
“why don’t you rig up some kind of camera to see who’s doing it?”  
flash panics for a moment, thinking maybe peter will agree to that and just hadn’t thought of it before because lord knows peter may have some of the best grades in the whole school but he literally named his superhero alter ego “spider-man.” but then peter speaks, and flash lets out a silent breath of relief.  
“no, whoever’s doing this obviously doesn’t want to get caught. i don’t want to be the jerk who exposes them just because i’m curious.” and flash remembers how peter knows better than anyone how it feels to want to keep yourself anonymous so badly. plus, peter is kind. he’s not selfish, he’s not like flash. understanding and kind, cliche as it sounds. 

-  
of course they would be out of sour gummy worms and flash didn’t think to stock up on them.  
“we’ll get a new shipment in tomorrow,” mr. delmar said from behind the counter. “We have to update the shipping schedule now that there’s a steady flow of regulars who buy them everyday, mr. thompson.” he winked, and flash couldn’t help but turn red from the observation.  
, maybe it’s a sign from the universe flash should stop trying. but flash never liked the universe, and it never liked him, so he doesn’t give up. one day of not giving him gummy worms won’t matter much, but he doesn’t want to leave peter empty handed when he opens his locker, so instead he gets a bag of ring pops and hopes peter likes blue seeing as the only bag they had was blue raspberry. (although he has noticed when given the option, peter tends to go for blue raspberry over cherry flavoring in most things. he’s not stalking, he’s just observant.)  
he gets to the counter to pay, and mr. delmar chuckles as he rings him up.  
“is your sweet tooth that bad you always need some kind of sugar?” he chuckles, and flash only nods in fear he’ll spill too much. “or is someone else’s sweet tooth that bad?”  
flash freezes, credit card halfway to the card reader.  
“it’s just funny how peter comes in and gets the same thing three times a week after school, a number 5 sandwich and a bag of sour gummy worms. then one day you come in here and sees what he gets, then after that you get the sour gummy worms. and all of the sudden, peter only gets his sandwich, like he already has his gummy worms. now maybe that’s just me thinking too hard on it, but to be honest with you, i’m glad peter’s got a friend like you.” he smiles at flash as he suddenly unfreezes and swipes his card so quickly he nearly gets it stuck in the card reader, then hastily grabs the ring pops.  
“thank you, sir.” he mumbles before speedwalking out the door. He purses his lips together and shakily inhales as he rubs at his eyes. he won’t cry, he won’t. he’s strong, really. he can’t walk home in tears, his mom will be worried and fret over him as his dad will grunt at him to man up and he doesn’t need any of that.  
“i’m glad peter’s got a friend like you.” he repeats in his head, and he wipes away any tear that might fall. friend, that’s the exact opposite of what they are. flash is a coward who hides behind the label of a bully out of fear, and peter is the best person he knows yet he still gets bullied by him.  
flash walks home trying to hide his tears and telling himself he’ll never be peter’s friend and he’s only been being nice since he realized peter is spiderman, so really his motives are selfish after all. he deserves to be peter’s friend as much as peter deserves the bullying flash gives him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DO Y’ALL REMEMBER WHEN I SAID “WOW IM NEVER EVER GONNA FINISH THIS SORRY” YEAH WELL I AM ASHAMED TO SAY IT BUT MY IMMORTAL INSPIRED ME TO KEEP GOING. DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING THAT IS TO SAY? I, THOMAS HOLLAND, TOMMY HOLLAND, TOM HOLLAND, ME, A STUPID 15 YEAR OLD WRITING SPIDERMAN FANFICTION ON MY DELL LATTITUDE LAPTOP WATCHING JOHN MULANEY AFTER DOWNING A WHOLE ICED COFFEE AT 11 PM WAS INSPIRED TO KEEP THIS FIC I STARTED 3 MONTHS AGO AND DIDNT EDIT EVER BECAUSE OF MY IMMORTAL? A HARRY POTTER FIC ALMOST AS OLD AS I AM? IM SO EMBARRASSED PLEASE ALL I WANT IN LIFE IS TO BE NAMED EBONY DARK’NESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY BUT NOOO IM THOMAS ELISHEVA CORBIN HOLLAND?? UGH ANYWAY do i have an outline for this or did i write the first english words that came to mind and have to backspace everytime i wrote he as ham? you can guess which one! Anyways who knows if i’ll ever update this again im an indecisive teenager <3 also pls dont say anything about how often i say “im only 15” its my way of saying be gentle and even tho i deserve to be bullied for writing spiderman fanfics please Dont <3 okay thats all i feel like im rambling in the tags of a tumblr post sorry but my fic my notes i say whatever i want alright bye


End file.
